“For everybody under 25 this is a message from the future.

(rant on living too long and if we should even try)

So I was just musing about people who want to live as long as possible and I thought this would only appeal to me if I could still get around you know and do stuff I love like perform, write songs paint etc I don’t want to be navigating a zimmer/walker down to the community center to play bingo.

There is literally nothing to do after 70 unless you're in peak form— I mean I’m feeling my knees creek and my eyes focusing more -I mean it hits you like “hey wtf why do I need glasses suddenly to read the New Yorker “

It just happens out of nowhere, Wednesday your fine, Thursday suddenly you have a pain in your knee then lower back then you have to get stronger cheaters all in a week— wtf—why doesn’t anyone warn us.

I keep thinking well Madonna is older than me if she can do it but then I watch some of the new show and she’s not really killing it as much— still amazing, but I can see she has the same pains as me when she starts dancing lolll I recognize that look in her face

Anyway, what I was daydreaming about was this whole age debate this obsession to look 30 forever -which I do wish had been programmed better by evolution or God -

I mean you're born then you have to be literally carried everywhere for a few years whereas as a baby foal has to get off its ass and walk within five minutes

Anyway, so we are helpless 'til 5 really then by 13, 14, we are usually out trying to kill ourselves having a good time as much drink and drugs and dancing all the good stuff then trolling for a mate now if you play your cards right you can squeeze maybe from 15 to 30 of pure hedonism just living your best life then woman have to stop drinking smoking dancing even whilst they seriously try to find the partner who will provide or share their expenses for life this is now getting very tricky as too much choice and online dating have wiped out the concept of marriage and babies for at least 59 percent of people.

Men can wait longer whilst women have to literally go on 3000 match dot com dates before they meet anyone vaguely acceptable—I know I have lots of single friends - most of them happy to be single and enjoying life- but then others who got married and stopped living basically to spend at least ten years talking to babies all day long until they reach a reasonable age by which time they hate you and want to get away ASAP.

So my thing is why would anyone want to live to 100 especially as most of your friends took the other option and lived a fun life and died when it was time but for the few who keep going it’s hard unless your Keith or Mick or Judi or Maggie busy bees all of them but to keep living on and on when you realize you hate modern music fashion and tv etc it’s a torture of sorts because everything becomes so jaded and you find yourself thinking oh gid gimme Bowie or Bolan instead of god love him Post Malone and Taylor swift so I’m just putting it out there if your moisturizing and running and a vegan maybe you start a club now to find all the people living the clean vegan life so when we all drop off you will at least have a bunch of people to play with or at least whine about over wine on your whatsapp

That’s what we do—my friend Marie Murphy and I—we whine about life and we laugh a bit everyday literally in Whatsapp, I wake up when she’s going to bed so we get an good hour of moaning laughing and drinking in till she gets tired that usually only last an hour as insomnia another great gift of aging now that you can have all the sleep you want your body says no I want to stay up but my main proposal is that I wish the young years ie 15 to 30 could be extended to at least 45 (I know we think 49 is the new 30 they are but we’re just kidding ourselves )

I just find it excruciating that we are older for longer than we are young it’s so annoying such a waste of decades imagine if we were young till we were 50 then we could spend the next 50 years being grown up and older that’s a good deal but the main problem is life can get repetitive and a bit boring after 50 you’ve seen every film and know every song and read every book life has nothing much to wow you with but of course we keep reading and going to the movies but we soon find ourselves saying things like “when I was young we had real rock stars like Bowie not twits in tracksuits yada yada

If you catch yourself complaining about technology get ready for the slow slide down the river of no return but know this if you are reading this and you are young don’t waste a night staying in to wash your hair or watching Netflix or playing video Games or just chilling you will want all that time back as soon as you hit 50

All those hair nights, all those episodes of Sopranos, ahhhhh why didn’t anyone warn me.

I am warning you right now I promise you you will wake up tomorrow and think how the fuck did I reach 60 without knowing it was happening.

I’m literally giving you the gift of life if you are 25 or under listen to me and take every moment very seriously

treat it with love cherish it and everyone you love

I know this is physically impossible to do as you’d end up annoying everyone and losing your friends who want to just stay home and wash their hair and eat pizza and chill but just be aware

I COME FROM THE FUTURE

I know what I’m talking about even if you keep it a secret treasure it and try not to skip down the street everytime you remind yourself you are so fucking young and your living it just keep walking and stay real.

THIS IS KNOWLEDGE YOU WILL REMEMBER EVERY MORNING YOU OPEN YOUR EYES NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR LIFE IS KNOW THIS IT WILL GET BETTER  IT WILL

DON'T WASTE IT WHINING ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG IN YOUR LIFE

THINGS WILL GO WRONG BECAUSE THAT'S LIFE OTHERWISE WHAT'S THE POINT -THE THRILL OF THE CHASE IS ALWAYS MORE EXCITING THAN THE CATCH- SO START CHASING IT AND LIVING IT THERE’S SO MUCH OUT THERE OH AND ANOTHER THING I LEARNED ( from David Bowie ) make your own mistakes don’t listen to anybody

Believe in yourself

It’s not that hard

Be kind to yourself first then let it spread to others

I’m so excited for you to have this knowledge so tomorrow you can get up and start that life where every moment is precious.

Angela”